Debut

by James Delsono

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1.
I look around me now And hear our children cry I see them hurting so And ask myself one question: Why? And prayers seem futile If we can't find a way To love one another The same way, every day ... and so I pray ... Holy Mother, hear our plight Holy Mother, stop the hate ... They swim towards the shore To run away from bitter War They get shot down in schools Because we love our tools More Their cries we do not hear Because we do not want To see ... But for a twist of Fate, Their parent could be you ... or me ... Holy Mother, hear our plight Holy Mother, stop the hate ... Ave Maria *** (and more) We're cutting down their trees So that they cannot Breathe (and more) We drug kids with a pill Just to make them Sit still And as they wilt away With every passing day Who cares? We send our thoughts and prayers And carry on the same Nightmares ... Holy Mother, hear our plight Holy Mother, stop the hate ...
2.
I try so many days to write I try to write a song ... The notes, the words, they don't come any more; I write, if right or wrong. And I almost put my pen aside But one thing's on my brain ... If this was my last day on the Earth, To you, what would I say? I love you, every day. And I look down at God's green Earth Where pain does never cease I look at you, my soul so broke And all I want is peace. And I almost give up straightaway ... But one thing's on my mind If this was my last day on the Earth What words, to say, I'd find? You're ever so kind ... you're ever so kind. The night goes by, so does the day, And, writing through the tears, I think of what to say to you That I haven't said in years ... And if I never write again If my pen I put down If this my last breath does represent Before to Him I bow ... What would I say? I love you, in every way. What would I say? I love you, I love you always.
3.
It's been such a long time since I walked in here, this holy church I'm lost, if just a little, as the altar I approach ... "Oh Lord, I've let you down; but, at least, now that I'm here, Oh Lord, my precious guide ... please kindly hear my prayer. Don't turn me away, oh Lord; in front of you I kneel, And ready, from my heart, to tell you how I feel;" The priest looks at me, thinking: "not seen you in a while" ... I look down for a moment, then at him, trying to smile. The service has now started; I look, before I pray; The church fills up with people that come here every day; The candles burn up brightly, the stunning statues shine; I look down at the ground below and pray for what is mine. "I know you're far away, and you did your best to help This beautiful, round world we call our Mother Earth; I know it's not your fault that we would rather fight; But I still pray to you; please don't be back too late." "Around here, things are tough; the kids have nought to eat; The wife is working nine to nine and barely gets some sleep; My pain, you can ignore, for that's not relevant; This world is torn to pieces, though, isn't that important?" *** "I'm sorry it's been so long, my time's been kind of full; I'm sorry - I've been selfish, but this world's e'er so cruel; The service's almost ended; I will now fall silent Please, Lord, do not cast on me judgement ... But save us from ourselves, this much I beg you, please, And, with your hands outstretched, give us a sign of peace ... ... a sign of peace."
4.
Looking down, with passing glances, At untaken second chances, Looking round with older eyes At the times we said goodbyes Marching on to lesser days And with nothing to replace Times gone by with gentle kisses Warmest hugs and newborn wishes Travelling the fields of life With no way to fight the cries Of our twofold broken heart That has e'er kept us apart Proudest egos, rigid rules Playing us for stupid fools; And as we wait at life's own door Scared to knock, afraid to go ... Silly minds and hardened spirits Break us both, too blind to see it, Old mistakes and foolish pride Making both just lose our mind ... And as we wait at closed doors, Looking straight, with frozen souls, We know now, though we're no more, We could have really had it all. *** Kindest thoughts when we first met, Thought we'd paid our karma debt; When our eyes looked straight ahead Into our souls, our love confessed With some joy and with some tears, Those were then our happy years; What we had could never break, Our love no-one could take. We were soft, we were sincere, We believed, we had no fear; All we had could never have stood Life's heartless ways, it's understood. And now, with proud and rigid rules That play us for useless fools, We remain at life's own door, Too scared to let our feelings soar ... Silly minds and hardened spirits, Break us both, we just don't see it; Old mistakes and foolish pride Just fade away into the night ... And as we leave, both standing tall, Broken hearts, closed like a wall, We know, in our wounded soul, We could still perhaps have it all ... We look away ... we are no more.
5.
Letter 05:01
Well, hello again; you look, to me, just the same; Hope you'll forgive me if I don't say your name. You look so beautiful; your locks glow like the sun; I hear you're happy; and in love with another man. Me? I'm the same, I guess; I watch the world pass by, I loved but once; never again, until I die. Forever young, I will therefore be, While others fall in love and be happy. [BRIDGE] I wish you well; I hear you're with child; I hope that he grows up to be gentle and kind; And when he meets a girl, let his love joyful be, Let him not live through things like what you did to me. [BRIDGE] I must go now - for yonder dawn now breaks And ghosts of times gone past now leave must take; The candle's out, I'm sorry I cannot Remain in touch ... we are but best forgot.
6.
Heroes 03:01
And the heroes stand up. And they never give up Their faith in a better life And the heroes defy Expectations, and try For a world of peace, not strife. And we owe it to them To avoid, once again, The path that leads to pain When they all, young and old, Want a wonderful world Where there's sunshine, where there's rain. *** They stand up today As they do, always, Every time and place, Smiles on their face. They stand up, like this, They believe in peace; They believe, do you? That to love is true. *** And we owe it to them To avoid, once again, The path that leads to pain When they all, young and old, Want a wonderful world Where there's sunshine, where there's rain.
7.
There was this girl I loved her so much, you know ... As life unfurled, I had to leave town and go. I thought that she Would stay forever with me; That we would be Together for eternity. And I can't go back To hold her in my arms I can't go back To hug her and to dance ... And I don't regret A moment of my time But, when all is done and said, I wish she was still mine ... Whilst I was lost She found herself another man He can now boast He's holding her in his arms And I'm alone My memories to keep me warm And as I look Inside my soul, there is a storm ... *** They married years ago They're happy; children, too ... I can't but hope That life for them holds true ... And I'm still here, Cold fingers, by the fire ... And sometimes I can still hear Her voice, full of desire ... *** And I can't go back To hold her in my arms I can't go back To hug her and to dance ... And I don't regret A moment of my time But, when all is done and said, I wish she was still mine ...
8.
The Servant 02:54
Who has believed one word we've said? To whom has this story been revealed? For he grew up before us as a tender plant, and as a root sticking out of dry ground He had no good looks or majesty, No beauty to desire when him we see. Despised he was, we hid our face before him Respect? Please. We found him boring. Yet surely, he bore OUR sickness And carried with him all our suffering And yet we thought HIS was the illness When he carried inside all OUR wrongdoing. He was oppressed - of that, please have no doubt And yet, when afflicted, he did not make a sound. As a lamb to the slaughter, he stayed ever silent When took away, he was, by hate and judgement. They made his grave with the wicked And with the abandoned in his death Although he had done nothing icky Nor were ever lies said from his breath. Yet surely, he bore OUR sickness And carried with him all OUR suffering And yet we thought that HIS was the illness When he carried inside all OUR wrongdoing. Oh yes, it pleased the world so much to bruise him And cause him much cause for suffering But after the dark night of his own soul He will soon see his own offspring. His hope is for the light and to be happy For love's own pleasure to prosper in his heart And, having taken on the pain of so many, For him and his loved one never to be apart. His hope is for the light and to be happy For love's own pleasure to prosper in his heart And, having taken on the pain of so many, For him and his loved one never to be apart.
9.
10.
I haven't met you yet; that much is true. I cannot write a love song about that which I have no clue ... I pray to the Lord, if it be His will, To run into you one day and tell you how I feel. I haven't met you yet; that much is so; I cannot write a love song about that which I don't know. So I go talk to priests and visit wise soothsayers, For, if I meet you, I'll forget to say my evening prayers. And the Lord will try us, surely, to deny; He will try so hard to make you never mine For He knows that if I hold you in my arms I'll forget to tell Him even "thanks". And, for all my thoughts and prayers, He's aware That I'd be completely happy if you were Mine forever, be we rich or be we poor ... If that were, I'd need no prayers any more. You're more real to me than any fake god Whose assistance I still need whilst on the road Towards meeting you and holding you to me, If you will, for all eternity. Therefore, whilst you're not here, I will pray; I will fast and make my penance twice a day, In the hope His sphinx-like figure I can sway And that I may therefore meet you e'en today. And the Lord will try us, surely, to deny; He will try so hard to make you never mine For He knows that if I hold you in my arms I'll forget to tell Him even "thanks". And, for all my thoughts and prayers, He's aware That I'd be completely happy if you were Mine forever, be we rich or be we poor ... If that were, I'd need no prayers any more.
11.
You look at me so kindly and ask me to write a song. And stand, away from me, as I sit there alone; You say that, of all things, love songs are most sincere, And flash your stunning smile as I control my tears. They say to write a love song 'tis greatest thing of all But how am I to share what eats inside my soul? And how am I to write, not knowing what love is? When to be loved by another is, to me, unknown bliss? You know, there was someone I loved so long ago, She never loved me back - although then I thought so. But you, quite rightly so, won't wait for me too long... Why wait for such a man that can't even write you a song? It's YOU I want to hold, of that I'm very clear; You are indeed the one that is to me most dear; You bring the best of me that I thought was not there Out for all to see... you're someone all too rare. But I don't have the strength to love you any more; I'll never be the man you need and was before; And you, the kindest lady I've e'er had chance to meet, I'm going to lose you, too... not sweep you off your feet. And you are right, of course - you've given me the chance So often, in my arms, to hug you and to dance; But you, quite rightly so, WON'T walk that extra mile And hug me, soft, yourself - and heal me with your smile. You are already gone - you've walked out of the door And walked out of my life, though smiling as before; I know I am mistaken, I know I've done you wrong, You need a real man, though - and here is my song.

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released July 1, 2020

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James Delsono London, UK

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